Surely a holiday would bring us closer together again, right?!! Please go through this check list:
– Does it feel like my husband isn’t into me?
– Am I walking on eggshells around him?
– Is his participation during intimacy mechanical, devoid of affection?
– Is a vacation WITH ME his idea?
– Do I usually feel like I can’t do anything right?
– Am I trying to do anything and everything to please him?
– Is the ‘anything and everything’ making a positive difference?
There are so many thoughts rushing through your brain as you try and figure out what’s happened to your husband, what’s happening to your marriage, how are the kids faring . . . . on and on and on the thoughts swirl. One of those thoughts is inevitably going to be about the need for a vacation (related article). Obviously, it’s not a ‘one shoe fits all’ decision, but I’m here to temper your putting weight into these thoughts. Measure carefully please – this may not be the time at all to throw yourselves together.
It WON’T WORK if you’re not on the same page, trust me, you will only dig a deeper hole of sorrow. It is not a solution, it is a gift waiting to be opened at the appropriate time.
We just returned from a 2 week holiday and you know what I realize? April 22nd came and went without my even recognizing the date – we were exploring a part of the world we’d not been before in the way we like to explore and we were so compatible and had such a good time . . . . hold onto hope if your spouse was a ‘good egg’ before all this hit. Active waiting. Active rest. Active trust.
Such a good time – something I thought would and could not be truly possible in all it’s fullness. I left expecting to personally have a good time because I know how to do that now, but I could not have possibly expected that WE would have such a good time TOGETHER for 2 whole solid weeks!
April 22, 2012 was the day (last day of a 12 day vacation) I learned that my husband was unhappy and had been checking out apartments on Craigslist. The day I thought was an ‘anniversary’ I’d never forget! I completely forgot.
I had a growing deep sorrow under the surface on that April 2012 vacation. It was well founded sorrow I was soon to learn. What I didn’t know is that the changes I was noticing in my husband were going to all gain speed and barrel down the mountain like an out of control freight train . . . . . right straight for me.
God is unchanging yesterday, today and forever. I love Him more than ever for what He is and for what He is not.
Another related article.